Gourmet Baked Goods

http://citrusspicebakery.com (801) 923-4117 citrusspicebakery@gmail.com

Custom wedding and party cakes, cupcakes, sugar cookies, and French macarons.

All my products are made to be the most delicious you've ever eaten! Painstakingly tested recipes, innovative baking techniques, and the very best ingredients set them apart. Premium chocolates, Madagascar vanilla beans, real butter, fresh fruit, and premium toasted nuts.

Everything I make is from scratch, including my fondant, sugar paste and modeling chocolate.

Friday, September 20, 2013

The Cake is NOT a lie!

this week is very important: it's my husband's 35th birthday! For months I've known what I was going to make for his birthday cake. 

He loves computer games, and one of the games he plays is Portal, a maze-like game where you have to use a special gun that creates portals to find your way through. A female computer voice guides you, and promises you cake if you succeed. Along the way, you find graffiti left by others reading, "The Cake is a Lie!" 

At the end of the game, you walk into the final room and see the cake at last:

Then the game credits run, and a song plays, sung by the female computer voice. The song mentions the cake several times. I took the song and rewrote the lyrics, brought the cake to my husband's work, 
and sang my version for him. If you are interested, just search for "portal still alive song" to hear rhe original. Trust me - it's hilarious! Here's my version:

This is your birthday.
I'm making a note here: YOU ARE OLD.
It's hard to overlook your graying hair now.
You do what you must
while you still can.
For the good of all of us
You have to work till you're dead.
But there's no sense crying over every grey streak.
You just keep on eating till you run out of cake.
And the aging gets done.
And you pretend to have fun
Even though you are now 35.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you wouldn't party with me.
And didn't want presents.
Didn't want to go out to eat with me.
But it's your most special day, so I'm so happy for you!
Now these hairs of grey make a beautiful line.
And you need some joint cream
For your knees and your spine.
But although you are old,
You're still sexy and bold,
Even though you are now 35.
Eat cake without me.
Although you'd prefer to eat some pie.
Maybe you'll find someone else to bake one.
Maybe Zack Nilson
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
When there's aging to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've errands to run.
There is baking to be done.
For the people who aren't 35.
And believe me you are 35.
You're getting older but you're 35.
You feel FANTASTIC and you're 35.
You're not dying, you are 35.
You're not dead, you are just 35.

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